Jul 21

Room at the Table? And… what kind of table?

[note: the following is a more “scholarly” reflection, representative of some of my ongoing doctoral studies which focus on making sure that families working through the challenges of raising children previously abused or neglected, or are having attachment issues find a welcoming place of worship in their community… a place at the table, if you will. If you are interested in following some of my more scholarly work, check out www.fullhousewithaces.com )

“Trinity,” a work of art attributed to Russian painter Andrei Rublev, was created in the 15th century. It is Rublev’s most famous work and depicts the three angels that visited Abraham at the Oak of Mamre (the story can be found in Genesis 18:1-15). The symbolism is purposefully multifaceted, and therefore the work is understood to be an icon of the Holy Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The three figures, depicted as angelic visitors, are seated at a table. They are beckoning the view to join in the meal, to sit at the table.

The personal, relational nature of God as plurality in unity—three-in-Oneness—is the basis for meaningful engagement between all persons. How can I make such a claim? In part, because of my Christian belief is that humankind is created in God’s image:

So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27, NIV)

Because God is relational, existing in three coequal persons in a mysterious diversity while maintaining essential unity, we are relational. We reflect the nature of God: we are created for relationship. These relationships should include the same diversity that exists in the Godhead—extending ourselves to reach out to those unlike ourselves in some way. We need to be cross-cultural.

When it comes to cross-cultural engagement, however, we need to be careful about HOW we are in relationship with the “other”—whether that “other” is the opposite gender, someone of another race, or any number of distinctive characteristics that could be used to keep us separate, divided, and suspicious of one another. Cultural engagement, the stated topic of the doctoral work for which I am currently engaged with a small cohort of students at Multnomah University, involves a purposeful process of humbling approaching the “other” in our midst, all the while mindful of the baggage we come into these interactions with. Read the rest of this entry »

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Jul 14

“Containing” Carrie

One of the issues for children who have experienced abuse or neglect is an inability to process their interior emotional world in a healthy way. Regularly, this inner turmoil results in unsafe behaviors—including self-harm and physical aggression towards those with whom they truly desire to experience deep connection. Until those out of control emotions are contained through appropriate interventions, a vicious cycle repeats itself: acting out, self-shaming for hurting others they deeply love, a reinforcement of negative self-talk, and acting out again.

Containment allows the child to slow down, regaining an ability for rational thought. Until this happens, she will be caught in an instinctual fight or flight emotional state. The physical acting out, the obvious “symptoms,” only tell part of the story. You see, the need for containment extends to thoughts and emotional life being processed in the minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour existence of child. Deep emotional wounds skew the internal conversation a child has, affecting every interaction that child has with peers, family, and other adults. There is significant spiritual, relational, and emotional healing that is needed for these children to change their internal conversation. They need to transition from self talk that tears them down to an internal conversation that builds them up, enables them, and brings them the healing they so long for.

Carrie was a child that struggled with needing this sort of emotional containment. She needed a set of boundaries determined by care givers that would provide a safe basis for working through the relational dysfunction that brought her to Intermountain in the first place. To illustrate her need, I want to share with you an excerpt from a five page hand-written letter I received from her during her time with us in Residential care:

“Dear Chris, I am sorry for not doing what I am supposed to do. I am just sad, mad, happy, scared, worried, jealous, disappointed, hurt, nervous, confused, upset, surprised, serious, lonely, hopeless, happiness, faithful, spirituality, anxiety, fear, trustless, trustful, hopeful, content, peaceful, joyful, rage, angry, blue, missed, love, trust, helpless, helpful. The reason I am mad is because my mom did not do what she is supposed to do… the reason I am scared is because I am probably not going to go home. The reason I am worried is because my mom is probably not ever going to change, the reason I am jealous is because I will never be special…”

This goes on and on for another four and one half pages! Can you feel the hurt, confusion, and deep longing in these words? All we could do was affirm to Carrie how much God loves her and how incredibly special she is to him. Hopefully, we were able to give her the skills that will allow her to calm those inner voices enough to hear the whisper of her Creator… “Carrie, you are mine. You are wonderful and precious in my sight. You don’t need to compete with others for my attention or my favor. I love you. I LOVE YOU. I always have, and I always will.”

Will you join me in continuing to pray for Carrie? There are often times when we feel wholly inadequate to meet the tremendous needs of the children in our care. We do our best to give them our best, but ultimately each “Carrie” we work with needs a miracle. It just may be your advocacy before God on the part of Carrie that brings her that loving containment that she needs.

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Jul 07

Headwaters Church Service Day a Success!

I am so thankful for the partnership of Pastor Seth Dombach and the fine folks at Headwaters Covenant Church (www.helenaheadwaters.org). With their help we were able to remove a ton of old bark and mulch from around our school entryway and replace it with new! It is a wonderful testimony to our staff and he children in our care to see so many coming and spending a beautiful day here with us to make our campus shine a little brighter. Each volunteer reminds us of the circle of faithful friends that support the work of Intermountain and care about the well-being of our children.

In the months ahead, there will be opportunities for service projects like this one that you and your church or civic group may want to participate in. As the chapel project gets up and running, we are doing our best to carve out portions of the project that would be suitable for volunteer groups to take on. We feel it is important for you to feel a personal connection to our work, and so we will work hard to find something appropriate to any sized group and any skill level. It is a great chance to get to know you personally, as well, because you can have a great conversation while bending over a shovel, applying paint to a wall, or whatever work might be before us.

Days of service are such a healthy expression of love for God and others. You see, whenever I serve alongside those that express their love for God by helping others, I am reminded of a favorite verse of mine, rendered well by Eugene Peterson in The Message version of the Bible:

I can already hear one of you agreeing by saying, “Sounds good. You take care of the faith department, I’ll handle the works department.” Not so fast. You can no more show me your works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together hand in glove. (James 2:18, MSG)

Faith and works, works and faith… indeed, they fit together like hand in glove. This is especially true if that glove is a work glove! I’d like to think that Jesus, the son of a carpenter, knew hard work himself and smiles down at those who aren’t afraid to sweat a little to further his Kingdom work.

Blessings, always—

Chaplain Chris Haughee

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Jun 27

Continuing Change for Children

On Friday, June 20th, I had the honor and joy of going to Our Redeemer Lutheran’s VBS closing ceremony (www.ourrdeemerlives.org). I was there to thank the children and staff for collecting money in Change for Children cans that will bless our ongoing efforts to refurbish one of the existing cottages on campus so that it can be a permanent chapel space and a place on campus to attend to the spiritual and cultural needs of all our children in residence (http://www.intermountain.org/support-us/church-giving/).

The joy in the building was evident, and I am very thankful for the churches like Our Redeemer’s Lutheran that have made us a big part of their children’s mission efforts. It means a great deal to me and to the children at Intermountain to know that children and families across Montana are praying for us! And… maybe it is my bias for working for two decades in children’s and youth ministry, but I believe God pays special attention to the fervent and faithful prayers of children.

The total amount collected is something we don’t know at this time, and to me it is far less important that the connections made heart-to-heart, child-to-child, and ministry-to-ministry. The Lord will be faithful to bring in the gifts needed to build the chapel on Intermountain’s residential campus. Of this I am certain. But, of more lasting importance is the community the is being built and the movement that is taking place within our partner churches to consider adoptive and foster-parenting support, education in ministry to those with emotional disturbance, and a greater compassion for those families that come to need Intermountain’s services.

So, thank you to Our Redeemer’s Lutheran Church and their wonderful VBS kids. Indeed,

“I thank my God every time I remember you!” –Philippians 1:3 (NIV)

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Jun 23

Rainbows in June

Those who have lived in Helena, Montana for a while quickly learn that June is our wettest month. Just about the time we’re ready to go stir crazy from another long winter, we get a wet and late-coming Spring. June is likely to bring a thunderstorm to your picnic in the park, and thus venturing out in this fickle month is an act of faith.

But, as has been said, without the rain you cannot have the beauty of the rainbow. 99% of the time people say this phrase while speaking metaphorically. What is meant is that without some disappointment or difficulty in our lives we wouldn’t appreciate the beautiful moments fully. What is a pithy turn of phrase that might help us get through a minimally aggravating day can seem to mock us when real tragedy hits. If you have just lost a loved one or are experiencing a recent diagnosis of cancer, the phrase “without the rain there would be no rainbow” is as likely to push you away from life’s beauty as it is to draw you in.

The children at Intermountain know their fair share of difficult times, as do the staff that attend to them. In this setting, one learns quickly to avoid the saccharine sweetness common to greeting cards and popular media. Pain hurts. Separation wounds. What’s broken sometimes can be repaired… at least not to what it was before. The storms of life sometimes crowd out the sun to the point where a rainbow is just a dream. All can truly seem lost is moments of despair.

But then… the sun does break through. The still, small, and gentle voice of God is heard between the peals of thunder. In these moments, a rainbow brings with it the good news that God’s promise remains: We will never be left completely alone. If all should fail us, God will remain. This gives us reason to hope, reason to trust, and reason to love again. This is good news worth sharing!

Recently, our children had the opportunity to share the reasons they were thankful in the midst of their storms. They wrote their prayers of thanksgiving on multi-colored foam feet that were displayed as a rainbow on the wall of our multi-purpose room where we meet for chapel services. They thanked God for Jesus, for family, for friends, for staff, for teachers, for love, and for hope. Their words inspired all of us that walked by the rainbow this Spring to think of reasons we have to be thankful. I was challenged to consider the good news that the rainbow does bring—behind the clouds of our despair, the sun still shines, and someday soon it will break through and once again give us its light.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” –John 1:5, NIV

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May 27

Louise Ogemahgeshig Fischer visits Intermountain

Due to the generous support of Humanities Montana, I was able to secure the wonderful speaking and presentation skills of Louise Ogemahgeshig Fischer for cultural studies at Intermountain school four consecutive Thursdays in May. Louise is well known in the Native American community and brings a wealth of experience in not only sharing her culture, but how to do so in a way that connects with children. Both the staff and the children have really enjoyed the talks and activities that Louise has shared with us.

The key to successful spiritual and cultural formation within the children at Intermountain is to look for aspects of religious and cultural life that affirm the values and foundational elements of our relational developmental treatment model. Through activities that introduce our children to a breadth of cultural and religious expression, they can see what unites all people despite our differences in beliefs and practices.

For example, I was able to express to the children that the Native American practice of smudging (bathing in smoke) is not unlike the Christian practice of confession. Each seeks to reflect on the need to cleanse the heart and mind and to refocus on the spiritual reality that imperfect as we are, we are invited to join in community with our Creator. Further, as children had the opportunity to make dream catchers and weave braids in their beading craft, Louise talked about the three parts of the braid symbolizing self, family/community, and the spiritual world. How much better off would we all be if we kept in mind these strands of our being? Read the rest of this entry »

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Apr 28

How we see Jesus – a sermon for the second Sunday of Easter

Scripture texts: John 20: 19-29 & 1 Peter 1:3-9

“I saw a strange sight. I stumbled upon a story most strange, like nothing in my life, my street sense, my sly tongue had ever prepared me for. Hush, child. Hush now, and I will tell it to you.

Even before the dawn one Friday morning I noticed a young man, handsome and strong, walking the alleys of our City. He was pulling an old cart filled with clothes both bright and new, and he was calling in a clear tenor voice: ‘Rags!’ Ah, the air was foul… and the first light filthy to be crossed by such sweet music.

‘Rags! New rags for old! I take your tired rags! Rags!’

‘Now this is a wonder,’ I thought to myself, for the man stood six-feet-four, and his arms were like tree limbs, hard and muscular, and his eyes flashed intelligence. Could he find no better job than this, to be a ragman in the inner city?

I followed him. My curiosity drove me. And I wasn’t disappointed.

Soon the ragman saw a woman sitting on her back porch. She was sobbing into a handkerchief, sighing, and shedding a thousand tears. Her knees and elbows made a sad X. Her shoulders shook. Her heart was breaking.

The Ragman stopped his cart. Quietly, he walked to the woman, stepping round tin cans, dead toys, and Pampers.

‘Give me your rag,’ he said gently. ‘and I’ll give you another.’

He slipped the handkerchief from her eyes. She looked up, and he laid across her palm a linen cloth so clean and new that it shined. She blinked from the gift to the giver.

Then, as he began to pull his cart again, the Ragman did a strange thing: he put her stained handkerchief to his own face; and then he began to weep, to sob as grievously as she had done, his shoulders shaking. Yet she was left without a tear. Read the rest of this entry »

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Apr 10

Trusting in Jesus even though you’re hurting—a sermon for the 5th Sunday of Lent

[note: this sermon was originally delivered to the Harlem Yoked Parish in Harlem, Montana on April 6th, 2014 by Chaplain Chris Haughee]

Text: John 11:1-27

Has anyone ever asked you, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Sometimes it is said in a flippant manner, meant to dismiss our concerns. Other times, the person asking truly wants us to gain a better perspective on our situation.

I wonder how Mary and Martha might have responded to this question? In today’s gospel lesson a few things are clear: Lazarus was very sick. Mary and Martha sent for Jesus. He didn’t come right away. Jesus knew how bad things were, but waited.

And, the worse thing that could happen, happened—Lazarus died! Mary and Martha were hurting. They had done everything right… in the midst of their need, they went to Jesus. And, Jesus failed them. That disappointment must have doubled their grief. And, like Mary and Martha, there are times when we will hurt the way Mary and Martha did.

At least, I know I have been there… at wits’ end wondering how God was going to bring me through the mess I was in. Disappointment in God may be the deepest hurt we can feel as his children. I have seen this kind of hurt in the faces of the parents that come to Intermountain. One particular couple stands out to me as I think about it.

They sat to the edge of the parent training session looking tired—tired emotionally, spiritually, and certainly physically. The frustration, despair, and anger at their struggle had frayed their last nerve and any sense of pretense. This was not a PTO or school fundraiser where parents huddle to brag on their kids and swap harmless parenting war-stories.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Mar 25

Faith—Overcoming by the Word of her Testimony

“By the blood of the Lamb
and the word of their witness,
they have become victorious…” –Revelation 12:11a (The VOICE translation)

Faith* came to me a few months ago and explained that while she didn’t mind coming to chapel every once and a while, what she really wanted was something that would challenge her and cause her to grow a little deeper in her faith. After strategizing with her teacher and staff that knew her well, I suggested that she start “reading buddies” with a committed believer on staff and suggested a number of novellas that featured strong women who had overcome difficulties in their lives with the help of God.

Months in, this strategy seemed to really be working. While Faith still occasionally joined us for chapel services, she really got a lot out of her time reading with her “reading buddy.” She started to go to church with her and was a great help in the adult Sunday school class she attended, serving often as a sort of teacher’s assistant—passing out handouts and that sort of thing.

Recently, the class she was attending with her “reading buddy” had an assignment that asked you to write out and deliver your testimony in three minutes or less. Faith jumped at the opportunity as if she had been eagerly awaiting this chance to talk about the change that Jesus had brought in her life. In the picture that accompanies this article, Faith is bravely reading her testimony to the class. Here are the words Faith shared:

“Before I met Jesus, my life was falling apart. My home was not a very safe place. My brothers were involved with drugs and my mom’s husband was abusive. My mom was too scared to protect (me not only) from harm in life but also in our home. When I was about nine years old I was removed from my family forever. Not just removed, but I left with my family’s troubles. I was then put in foster care, but the people who were supposed to take care of me were not very nice. I was very scared, super lonely, and so sad and I just felt hopeless. I cried so much.

Then all of a sudden God came to me in a very special moment. He turned my heart and comforted me. And it was at that time that I gave my life to God so that he could lead me to a much better path in my life. Now, when I am hurting and don’t quite know where to go or who to turn to in my life, I know that God is waiting to listen to my pain and troubles, and understands.”

I affirmed Faith’s bravery for sharing her testimony in chapel as well as before the adult Sunday school class. I told her that the more she shares her story of the hope that Jesus has brought her, the more she will have a lasting victory over the troubles or her past and the loneliness that she felt. She was able to hear not only the encouragement we wanted to give her, but the challenge to keep telling her story… she is overcoming the pain of her past with the power Jesus has given her and the word of her testimony!

*Faith is not this young lady’s real name, rather it is her chosen pseudonym… I like her choice! Chris <><

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Mar 20

“Need a drink?” a Change for Children object lesson based on John 4:5-42

Objects needed: A box of saltine crackers, a bottle of water (or several bottles… as you might want to give each child a bottle)

Key Text: John 4:5-42

Theme/Main Idea: Jesus meets the needs of our thirsty souls.

Presentation:

“Good morning! How are you this morning? Are you filling up your change cans at home or in your Sunday School class? I sure hope so! It makes a big difference in the lives of the children at Intermountain. You know what else makes a big difference… at least for me when I am hungry? [Take out saltines.]

That’s right! Food. Food is really important, right?! In fact, I am so hungry, I am going to eat some right now. [This is where you get to do your “Cookie Monster” impersonation and shove A LOT of crackers in your mouth].

Mmm-fff. Uh-oh. I think I forgot something… my mouth is really dry [it’s bad manners, but will make more of an impact on the kids if you say this with the crackers still in your mouth]. I need something! What do I need? [wait for responses]

Yes! Something to drink! Thank goodness you are all here to help take care of me. I have some water around here somewhere… [pull out water bottles and open one to drink. Make a BIG deal out of how refreshing it is and how much better you are now that you have washed down the crackers] Read the rest of this entry »

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